Spider-man

It is known among the world that all major evils can be attributed to this man alone. Minor evils are usually commited by other people, but the other "lesser evils" are widely believed to be created in Spider-Man's own image or from his own vision. There has been a period of time, known as the Sodomatomic Ages, where Spiderman was a good guy. This was before he met Winnie the Pooh.

Evils that are attributed to Spider-Man
These are the major evils that are most well known by the public. These are not by far all the evil things that he has done.....not even close.


 * The theory that Aids was created because someone had sex with a monkey
 * Christianity
 * Conservative radio hosts
 * George W Bush
 * Karl Rove
 * Hatred
 * Discrimination
 * Exon Oil
 * Pollution
 * Hummers
 * Anyone who votes conservative
 * People who don't like liberals



What to do if spotted
If you are spotted by Spider-Man or you spot him while he is out "webslinging" it is encouraged that either
 * 1) You stand completely still
 * 2) Start bashing your face against the nearest piece of concrete.
 * 3) Start doing many, many backflips
 * 4) Run around screaming.

It is widely known that Spider-Man has bad vision and any one of these techniques will probably make him miss you in a non romantic way.



Getting Help
If you are in need of help against Spiderman, here are some people who are willing to help you:


 * Margaret Thatcher - She is evil, but since post-WWII, has always been an enemy of Spiderman.
 * Cell
 * Raptor Jesus
 * The Emperor
 * Exon

Spiderman's Non-Evil Attributions (Mistakes)
Spiderman made a major mistake that has caused major deaths. He voted for the evil George W Bush


 * Creation of JabberJaw - This being actually benefited the world, as opposed to Spiderman's initial plan.
 * Slipknot

Spider-man's Propaganda
Spiderman insists on making himself look like the good guy. Most of you who don't know him at all have been fooled by his trickery. You have seen his movies and comics. Thus, you believe is a good guy, a super hero. Nope. Wrong. Spiderman is a bad man. He would murder, but he is currently relying on over-population to serve his dark purposes. We aren't sure of his master plan, but we know that all his minor plans involve making the world a worse place. He even said it himself.

Winnie the Pooh's effect on Spider-man
Before Winnie the Pooh came around, Spider-man was a good man. Winnie the Pooh is a muslim extremist who is out to kill you. After oppressing that donkey guy, he moved on. When Spiderman met him, trouble was garunteed. After many years of exile in the desert, Spiderman learned the basics of evil. Spiderman, being omniattendant quickly became one of the most sinister villains known to the world. He's even convinced the world that he is a good guy. His greatest feat is convincing the world that he isn't real.

Pre-Winnie the Pooh Spider-man
Spider-man recieved a spider bite. He was really pissed off about it. He went to spider forums and posted hateful annd embarrassing things while pretending to be a spider. Eventually, this obsession spread to mutating his own IRL DNA to impersonate spiders in real life. After giving them a thoroughly bad reputation, he continued with his heart's greatest passion: Dance.

Spider-man was a beautiful dancer, and took dance for at least 10 years. Hower, he met Winnie the Pooh during the rehearsal of the last play he ever danced in.

Trivia

WTF